losing expectations & changes.

change is a good title to my blog post today.

i chopped my hair off. like…REALLY off. it’s extremely short, not like buzz cut but it’s definitely shorter that i have ever gone before.

but that is exactly what i wanted. i contemplated going even shorter than this. didn’t do it thought. everyone keeps asking for pictures but i don’t currently have any sorry.  i mean i took a few but i don’t think any turned out really, plus it’s almost 11 and plus my hair is really curly since i showered. i hate that it does that. why can’t it just lay flat or be in ringlets? why this messed-up, i’ll-do-what-i-want-to business? anyway, i digress.

changes! yes. oh and lowering of expectations, which is included in the changes.

you might ask what expectations i’m lowering and i will tell you.

when i first moved here i was excited to meet new people, excited to have new friends to hang out with and enjoy life with.

i was excited to stop being such a flippin introvert.

these ideals have proved to be completely inaccurate of how things really are here.

i have only 3 people that i’ve hung out with, 2 of them being friends that i had before i moved here and the other one? oh in a few weeks she moves back home to Canada, i’ll probably never see her again. strike one.

this all just really makes me curious…what makes me such an outcast? do i give off a weird vibe to people? am i awkward? is there something i’m supposed to DO that i’ve not DONE? i don’t know. but today i made some changes to me. my hair is gone, and i bought a sketch book.

give me some utensils, my sketchbook and my notebook, a warm slightly breezy day by the lake filled with sunshine and my ipod, and i am perfectly content.

lonely perhaps, but it’s what i’m going to have to get used to. i’ve determined you see, to get better at writing and get better at art since i suck at both.  considering i don’t hang out with anyone or really know anyone and i don’t work THAT much, i do believe i will have tons of plenty of time to do this.

here’s to becoming better at being alone. huzzah.


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