if you wonder why music means so much to me…

here are a few words from mr. jon foreman of switchfoot who just so happens to have explained what music is to me better than i ever could:

“For me, the song has always helped to restore sanity. The melody can help to string broken things together, bringing me back from the ledge of from depression. Sometimes, the music says it better than the words do; the melody brings the tension and release into a dance rather than a struggle. This isn’t to say that music stops the pain. Rather, music contextualizes the pain within the larger human experience and thus brings a certain timeless meaning and depth to the temporary despair and hopelessness I feel. And to this end, I love music. I love to find myself there in the songs of others. I love to find joy writing my own songs. Yes, even songs about the madness: trying to push through despair towards hope, singing into the storm.”


for the rest of the article:



the harvest.

while spending some time in prayer and worship, God gave me a picture relating to a vision he gave me on Sunday morning at church.

in my vision i saw a large field, ready for harvest…but something was wrong.  the stalks were all dying and bent over, it was as though they had been very poorly tended and were almost out of life.  then i saw two young girls, completely radiant with the joy of the Lord on their faces, run down a hill into this field and as they reached the dying stalks of wheat in the field, they began to laugh and sing and dance in praise to God.  as the girls danced, the stalks began to be healed and grew upright, coming to full fruit.  and it was the time of the harvest!! but the girls kept on dancing and more and more wheat was being restored as they praised and sang and danced in joy.  pretty soon, the wheat itself started changing into other people who began to dance also.  however, some of the people who began to dance turned from the field and gazed up the hill the girls had come from and instead of continuing to dance, they left the field altogether and ventured up the mountain where they found MORE people.  the people on the mountain appeared to be the same as the girls below but something about them was different… the people on the mountain were watching the girls dance and instead of joining in, they scorned and mocked them, judging what they looked like, how foolish they seemed!  soon enough, the people who had left the field began acting as those who were on the mountain, turning cold and dark.  the whole mountain began to be covered with a dark grey shadow whereas the field was glowing with the radiance of the sun. 


what i believe God is saying through this vision is that we, His people on the mountain, need to NOT be afraid and to reach out to others for the harvest is plenty but the workers, they are few. dancing might push us out of our comfort zone, and those gazing in on our lives may think we are stupid and foolish but what joy we can share and what life we can bring when we only obey and follow His word!

one day i will awaken on white shores

one day i will awaken on white shores, in warm light, with love piercing my heart and it will reveal to me the very truth of what it always meant to be alive. the morning will be clearer than ever before, the air will smell of ocean and sunrise. the people around me will be those i love and those i once forgot. their faces are clear and bright and transcendent. they reflect my own and i know them intricately. my joy knows no bounds as you approach me and hold me and i know now that everything else was just a mirror of you. this was always reality.

lost in nostalgia.

summer has ended and the air officially has that familiar chill to it.

something about the crispness to the weather and the wanting of bonfires and apple orchards reminds me of years past, memories past, happiness past.

fall was always the biggest season, the most important season.

fall was back to school, and my best friend’s birthday and shopping for new clothes and general newness of life it felt like.

fall was always exciting and easy.

then after school was over, fall meant colorful leaves and candlelit hikes, pumpkins and baking to warm the house up on the chilly days.

it meant pulling out my favorite hoodies and curling into them with music on as i lay outside beneath a spattering of stars and a moon so large you were afraid of collision.

fall always meant several trips to my favorite apple orchard, loading up on apples, cider and cider doughnuts.

it meant halloween and picking out a fun costume, for one night of the year pretending to believe in ghost stories.

and right now as i sit here typing this with the chilly breeze snaking in through the cracked window, these are the memories i am reminded of, these are the times that i go back to.  when i can’t possibly believe i can make it another moment from that ache in my chest that longs for love and laughter, i breathe in and let myself get lost in the memories and, for a moment, it doesn’t hurt so bad.

the problem with nostalgia though, is that eventually it must end and real life will come back twice as strongly.