lost in nostalgia.

summer has ended and the air officially has that familiar chill to it.

something about the crispness to the weather and the wanting of bonfires and apple orchards reminds me of years past, memories past, happiness past.

fall was always the biggest season, the most important season.

fall was back to school, and my best friend’s birthday and shopping for new clothes and general newness of life it felt like.

fall was always exciting and easy.

then after school was over, fall meant colorful leaves and candlelit hikes, pumpkins and baking to warm the house up on the chilly days.

it meant pulling out my favorite hoodies and curling into them with music on as i lay outside beneath a spattering of stars and a moon so large you were afraid of collision.

fall always meant several trips to my favorite apple orchard, loading up on apples, cider and cider doughnuts.

it meant halloween and picking out a fun costume, for one night of the year pretending to believe in ghost stories.

and right now as i sit here typing this with the chilly breeze snaking in through the cracked window, these are the memories i am reminded of, these are the times that i go back to.  when i can’t possibly believe i can make it another moment from that ache in my chest that longs for love and laughter, i breathe in and let myself get lost in the memories and, for a moment, it doesn’t hurt so bad.

the problem with nostalgia though, is that eventually it must end and real life will come back twice as strongly.

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