Were you happy when you woke up today?

yes. i was.

 

When were you on the phone last? And with who?

about an hour ago with mr. adam shrump 🙂 he is in seattle.

 

What are you excited for?

november. maybe.

 

What were you doing yesterday?

pretty much nothing honestly…it was one of those lazy days.

 

What’s the last thing you put in your mouth?

haha my finger, but that sounds weird so i must clarify i was getting food stuck out of my teeth 😛

better gross than weird 😉

 

Have a best friend?

i don’t. and it sucks.

in the words of sarah dessen,

“life is an awful, ugly, lonely place to not have a best friend.”

 

Do you think teenagers can be in love?

no. love is hard. comes with time.

 

Last person you wanted to punch in the face?

someone i lightly consider a friend.

 

What time is it right this second?

11:13 pm

 

What do you want right now?

to smile again.

 

Who was the last person you took a picture with?

i don’t even know.  i rarely hang out with people & take pictures anymore.

 

Are you single/taken/heartbroken/or confused?

single. forever.

 

When was the last time you cried?

4 hours ago. i probably will be again shortly as soon as i escape to my room.

 

Do you find it hard to trust other people?

yes and i very rarely do so.

 

How fast does your mind change?

depends on the subject.

 

I bet you miss somebody right now:

it’s hard because the people i miss don’t even care i miss them.

 

Why do you think so many people cheat ?

the grass always looks greener but never really is.

 

Tell me what’s on your mind?

i am stupid for thinking. stupid for hoping. stupid for believing in november. stupid. stupid. STUPID.

 

What are you looking forward to in the next three months?

going home for christmas and not having to work.

 

Have you ever worn the opposite sex’s clothing?

frequently. i hate girly stuff most days.

 

When did you last talk to your best friend from elementary school?

i had a couple but it’s been years. i was alone in middle school, the outcast of the outcasts.

nothing much has changed. what friends?

 

When is your next road trip?

i don’t think i like road trips anymore.

 

How’s your heart?

shattered. that’s the only explanation for how much it hurts when i breathe.

 

Do you think somebody’s in love with you?

nope. i’m glad in a way. i wouldn’t know how to handle being liked let alone loved.

 

What are you planning on doing after this?

going to my room. crying a lot. then sleeping eventually, whenever i can pass out.

 

What does your 3rd recent text say?

“i believe it’s going to, it’s just trusting God in the details.”

 

What are you wearing right now?

leggings, dress, thermal shirt, cardigan and i’m still cold. flannel sheets anyone?

 

When’s the last time you had a grilled cheese?

wow a very long time.

 

Do you wish someone would call or text you right now?

it would be great to hear from Kevin, maybe then i could smile.

but that won’t happen so the answer is no.

 

Do you crack your knuckles?

yep.

 

What were you doing yesterday at midnight?

probably sleeping. or close to it.

 

What are your LEGAL initials?

EMS

 

Whos the first B in your contacts?

Bab. my work.

 

When was the last time you laughed really hard?

at applebees the other night with peeps. however, i didnt feel like myself so its hard to say if i was really

happy or just laughing to fit in.

 

Last awkward moment ?

today. shooting photos.

 

Are you afraid of the dark?

no

 

Have you ever tripped someone?

yeah probably.

 

Have you ever slapped someone?

yes. i have brothers.

 

Do you have any scars?

over 200. and no, i never went to counseling.

 

Is there someone you will never forgive?

i won’t hold a grudge no.

i can forgive but i’m not stupid enough to forget.

 

Are you dating the person you last held hands with?

that would be my sister. who insisted on holding my hand.

answer: no.

 

Can you go in public looking like you do?

i did. several times today.

 

Have you ever kissed someone whose name started with a J?

no.

 

What side of the bed do you sleep on?

middle/right.

 

Whats the first thing you’ll do on your wedding day?

i’m not going to get married. i do enjoy shooting weddings though.

 

Do you miss the way things used to be?

i do yet i don’t.

i gave God my life.

i knew it would be hard.

He never said, “give your life to Me and you will always 100% be happy”

no.

it will work out in the end though, that much i believe.

 

Will tomorrow be better than today?

has to be.

 

What’s the color of you’re shirt you are wearing?

black, and grey and grey.

 

Has anyone ever sang or played music for you personally?

yeah jared did once back in highschool.

oh yeah and the guys in The Wrecking dedicated “about to fall” to me at a show once.

best thing ever.

 

Are you a naturally happy person? Or is your happiness forced?

forced usually. i mean, i CAN be happy but it’s very very hard for me.

i have to have joy of God in my to be happy. #truth.

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