Welcome to Midnight



The ball drops and fireworks. Resolutions are made.
People scream and people kiss and is it possible to change?
Is it really truly possible to leave the past behind?
Welcome to Midnight.
Another year comes to a close. Another year begins.
With a moment in between.
Why the fuss?
Why the fame and fireworks?
Is it more than hype? More than something else to sell us?
Is there something to this holiday? Something true inside it?
Because isn’t there something inside us that aches for change…
Dreams it to be possible…
To let go.
To hold on.
To leave it behind.
To start again.
To be new.
Is it possible?
If you’re reading this, if there’s air in your lungs, then you’re alive today tonight right now.
And who can know how long we have here…
And is it a gift? Was it ever a gift? Did that ever feel true or could that one day feel true?
Are there things to fight to live for?
Moments and people… Weddings and children and all your different dreams…
Is your life more than just your own?
And are there broken things you were made to fight to fix?
Broken families, broken friends… Injustice.
Will you move for things that matter?
Wouldn’t it be nice if change took just a moment?
Wouldn’t it be nice if it were that easy?
Midnight and we’re new. Midnight and the past erased. Midnight and we’re free.
It seems to come slow. It seems to be a surgery.
Forgiveness. Healing. Sobriety. Letting go. Starting over.
It seems to happen slowly over time.
One day at a time, the choice made new each morning.
Will you fight?
Will you fight to be healthy?
Will you fight to be free?
Will you fight for your story?
Will you fight to get the help you need?
Change takes more than a moment, but maybe there’s also something to this celebration of a moment, something to the way it speaks to us, something to the way we fear it, and dream it to be true. Maybe it’s the most honest moment of the year.
It’s possible to change.
Welcome to Midnight.
Here’s to the possibilities.
Peace to You.

Girl Confessions: a short survey for fun.

1. Do you sleep in your bra? nope
2. Do you like noodles? love!
3. Do you enjoy drama? no.
4. Are you a girly girl? i can be. but usually no.
5. Small or large purses? the bigger the better
6. Are you short? yep.
7. Do you like somebody? no
8. Do you care if your socks are dirty? omg i can’t stand dirty socks.
9. Do you like Halloween? it can be fun
10. Favorite time of the year? fall. but not cold weather.
11. Where is the weirdest place you have slept? hmm i used to sleep on busses a lot in highschool cuz i was always tired. practice rooms in the band hallway…ha.
12. Has anyone touched/ smacked your butt in the past 24 hours? no but someone did at work the other day. ha. coworkers 😛
13. Is there any type of rumor going around about you? I hope not.
14. Do you call anybody by their last name? couple of people yea
1. What color is the bra that you’re wearing? black
2. Do you prefer light or dark haired guys? either.
3. Are you currently frustrated with a boy? no
4. Do you have a best friend? not really.
5. Have you had your heart broken? often.
6. Have you ever thought of having plastic surgery? nope.
7. Do you like your life? not really. without God it’s terrible.
8. Have you ever jumped in the pool with your clothes on? no
9. Do you have more friends that are girls or guys? i don’t know.
10. How long have you had a Facebook? since i was a junior in highschool.
11. Have you ever slapped a guy in the face? my brothers.
12. What are your biggest fears? giving everything up to God. of all the people to be afraid of…totally ridiculous.
13. Have you ever cried yourself to sleep? Yes
14. Have you ever been not able to get someone off your mind? Every day… 😦
15. Do you believe in the saying “once s cheater, always a cheater?” no people can change.
16. Have you ever had a good feeling about something? oh yes
17. Do you ever wish you were famous? kind of, once. but then i was like whoa no way thanks. it would be hard to keep my heart right.
18. Are you currently missing someone? terribly.
19. Who are you texting right now? i was texting miki, but currently no one.
20. Who did you copy this status from? this is a survey not a status. fail.
1. cowboy or gangster? cowboy
2. Face or body? face.
3. Sweet or sexy? sweet
4. Contacts or glasses? doesn’t matter.
1. Eyeliner or mascara? eyeliner
2. Pink or black? black
3. Pumps or flats? flats
4. Skirt or pants? skirt
5. Socks or leggings? leggings
6. Hoodies or jackets? both.
7. Heels or sneakers? sneakers
8. Straight or curly hair? curly
9. Smoothies or lattes? smoothies
10. White or black? black
11. Diet or regular sodas? none
12. Water or daiquiris? water
13. Pearls or diamonds? pearls
14. Ipod or cellphone? ipod touch. or iphone haha.
15. Friends or family? friends
16. Lip gloss or lip stick? lip gloss
17. Manicure or pedicure? manicure
18. Tank tops or beaters? tanks
19. Big sunglasses or small? big
20. Sunglasses or purse? sunglasses
1. Funny or serious? both, equally both.
2. Romantic or dare devil? BOTH.
3. Dark eyes or light eyes? dark
4. Long hair short hair? both.
5. Hocky player or football player? um…musician?

random lunar phase quiz…for fun!

so i took this quiz for fun and apparently i am the waning moon 😛

this is what it says:

“You are most aligned with the waning moon which represents reflection and cleansing.
You enjoy spending a good deal of time alone. You like to spend a lot of time thinking.

You are independent, iconoclastic, and countercultural. You won’t except the status quo.
You’re rational when things are chaotic, and for you, reason always prevails.”


sounds like me for real haha.


terrible night.

great night.


it doesn’t matter anything about what other people say or do.
it’s ultimately up to me and God.
what He speaks to me.
how He touches me.

how He is going to ultimately heal me.


nothing else matters.
only Him.


it feels odd being home for Christmas…

seriously.  i’m like where are my responsibilities and the sound of children running around
and not driving on the streets of Kenosha…it’s all so weird being here…like Kenosha is seriously
my home now. it’s crazy.

ooh!! so i went thrift shopping today GAH i LOVE IT! SO FUN!!
and i found this incredibly gorgeous medieval style dress, complete with princess butterfly sleeves
(think lord of the rings elf-wear) and it was only $7.00


i’m super stoked. it’s not gross, one washing and it’ll be amazing.





okay that is all ^_^

give me nights of solitude, red wine just a glass or two.

i always write so much more in the cold wintery months.

why is that?

oh yeah, because at least in the warmer months i can go for walks with my ipod or hang out at the lake
and even though i’m not with anyone, it’s still better than being alone with my thoughts inside my house
for hours on end.  i guess winter is when i remember how much i love DIY projects and writing and soon
enough i’ll have my music to work on again. i keep telling myself one month isn’t too long, not too long
at all.   why is winter always the worst? i’m thoroughly convinced it has to do with the fact that the cold
makes us in fact so much more homebodies.  this year, though i haven’t had time to go yet due to work
(holiday is such a crazy time i don’t know what i was thinking!) i did indeed join a gym which shall
hopefully prove lovely in the coming weeks & months.  i’ve already lost weight since moving to Kenosha
and not done much differently in my life aside from the types of things i eat i suppose…. yeah i’m not really
sure what triggered the change 😛 i have a few goals to even start working on before the year is over…. let’s
list them since this is my blog and i can do whatever i want!!

1.  be going to the gym minimum of 2x a week.
there is no reason why i shouldn’t be able to do this.

2.  read at least 1 new book a month in 2012.
i’m technically starting this now since i’ve begun reading pride & prejudice which
NO i have not read yet! i know right?? missing out! (looove the movie!!)

3.  become more of a DIY-er. alls i want for Christmas is a sewing machine! seriously!!

4. try more types of alcohol.
no, i’m not a super conservative Christian type and no i’m not an alcoholic either…but i DO
wish to try new liquors and such.  i’m 21 after all and i pretty much never even drink.

5.  get another tattoo.  this one is a pretty big maybe because i would have to know exactly what
i want and considering my first took me FOREVER to decide (thanks to Jen for helping me with that)…
well it would be tough.


and thus concludes my random blog post!!
(i never claimed to be a good writer btw)