But you didn’t have to cut me off
Make out like it never happened and that we were nothing
And I don’t even need your love
But you treat me like a stranger and that feels so rough
No you didn’t have to stoop so low
Have your friends collect your records and then change your number
I guess that I don’t need that though
Now you’re just somebody that I used to know
I can’t remember what it felt like to not have pressure to perform. To be something. To be achieving certain things. It’s having the expectations from others to talk a certain way, dress in a certain fashion, like certain things…and it’s even worse in Christian circles. There is an expectation to have your relationship with God at a certain level, to be constantly pushing pushing pushing even when you feel, see, or hear nothing. There is an expectation to build relationships with people, to serve people, to listen to those around you in what they feel is how your life should be.
Now I’m not saying that I disagree with these aspects of life but there are times when they get very tiresome and the expectation just weighs down so heavy. I don’t even remember truly letting go and laughing anymore. I work Monday through Friday at my corporate America 9-5 and go to Bible class on Mondays and Wednesday, babysit on Tuesdays, and try to get everything done in the rest of the time. Well, I don’t have much of a social life so that isn’t really an issue, it’s all of the other little things.
The title of this blog post originated from the popular song by Gotye, and it felt right for this piece because that is how life seems these days. People who I was close to have all moved to orbits at the edges of my life. I don’t see them often and actual talking is fairly rare. After thinking a lot about a concert I was contemplating in November I have made the decision to not go to them anymore. There’s no point really, I shouldn’t spend my money on it and it doesn’t accomplish anything, so I have chosen to become a non-concert attender. Not sure how this will all play out yet but for right now, that is the idea behind this post.
Alright I’m going to enjoy my low-lights and pineapple drink while the rain falls steadily outside. Laters.